• caitliner

Traveling Along the Spiral

Updated: Jan 19

A year ago, I set out to build a business and a website here. A lot of motivation, inspiration, and, to be completely honest, a lot of manic energy was poured into the crafting of the site, the blog posts, the instagram posts, the services, and all that goes into trying to launch a one-person business.

During this somewhat crazed push to create, life began turning a bit sideways from an already pretty wonky spot, my manic energy diminished, and my cynicism derailed my goal. I'd be remiss not to say that I was also incredibly privileged to find myself in a pretty unique and positive place within my regular job. Perhaps the whispers of the universe were nudging me into a more authentic direction. All of that to say, it felt like some things fell apart and some things aligned in ways that might be a little more fitting for me. For now, I'm back here at the keys, punching in new thoughts and ideas really just for the hell of it.

The last couple of years felt like organized chaos for obvious and not so obvious reasons. As the chaos seemed to calm down just a bit, I found myself once again on the North side of my spiral looking back on what I didn't know last year and the year before and so on. For anyone not familiar with the spiral image, it's the idea that healing and growth are not linear. While we move through time, we repeatedly touch on old traumas, grief, and events that trouble us. Each time we come back to them, we bring a little more awareness and life experience to our memories, thus allowing for our perspectives and feelings to change and soften. I have spent a lot of time regurgitating narratives of the past as I touch and retouch on my old scars, but this time I'm looking to the unending center of the spiral to find what is now and tomorrow and always.


Basically, I have unearthed the secrets to succe... Just kidding. I'm not here to sell bullshit to myself or anyone out there that might possibly come across this. I'm just writing words to capture the moment and to explore what the hell is going on down here within myself and on this planet as our species seemingly skips along the edge of a crumbling cliff in ignorant bliss.

Actually, I'm just one of many, many people who do see the cliff and acknowledge the cliff. However, the momentum of the masses and the capitalistic ideologies driving them forward is moving at a pace that we might not be able to slow.

I've been hanging out in my ivory tower for a while now, my head cocked and eyebrow raised at the masses; the people defying and denying some agreed-upon truths and devastating consequences. As it turns out, though, judgments made from lofty heights don't actually do a whole lot of good for myself or anyone else, much less the planet.

So, on this orbit around the North side of my spiral, I'm noticing explicit changes in how I handle the overwhelming helplessness that we've all experienced at one time or another. The changes are internal, they are simple and also profound. They are the beginning of a practice rather than a single decision to be this way or that. A practice that will be founded in compassion and enacted in hope... I hope.

And so, I'd like to share a little bit about this Northern point on my personal spiral and where it might be leading me ...

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